The Power of No: How to Get Through the Holidays

The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, connection, and celebration. But for many women, they can feel more like a marathon of giving—time, money, resources, and energy—until there’s nothing left for yourself.

There’s the work party, the kids’ class party, the neighborhood cookie exchange, the family gift swap, the charity drive, the Secret Santa exchange at your book club… And don’t forget baking the Pinterest-perfect treats, mailing holiday cards, and remembering who likes peppermint bark versus fudge.

And let’s not even talk about remembering everyone’s sizes for matching pajamas.

It’s no wonder the holiday cheer often feels like holiday burnout.

The Trap of Giving Too Much

As parents, we’re often conditioned to be the givers—the ones who hold everything together with a smile. During the holidays, this expectation is amplified. Saying no can feel like you’re failing at the season’s unspoken rules.

But here’s the truth: when you give too much of yourself, you end up depleted. And instead of feeling connected and joyful, you feel stressed, overwhelmed, and resentful.

It’s time to rewrite the holiday narrative.

Say No to Say Yes - How to Get Through the Holidays

Here’s a radical idea: What if you didn’t do it all? What if you said no to the things that drain you so you could say yes to the things that truly light you up?

• Say no to the fourth holiday party in a week so you can say yes to a cozy night watching your favorite holiday movie with your family.

• Say no to baking three dozen cookies for a swap so you can say yes to an afternoon making your favorite treat with your kids.

• Say no to hosting the big holiday dinner (again) so you can say yes to attending as a guest and actually enjoying yourself.

When you say no to the things that don’t spark joy, you create space for what matters most.

How to Start Saying No

Saying no isn’t always easy, especially when guilt creeps in. But here are a few tips to help you start:

1. Get Clear on What Matters Most:Before the season gets into full swing, take time to reflect on what makes the holidays special for you. What traditions do you cherish? Who do you most want to spend time with?

2. Set Boundaries Early:Once you know your priorities, communicate them. It’s much easier to say no when you’ve already decided what’s a yes.

3. Delegate, Delegate, Delegate:You don’t have to do everything yourself. Let your partner, kids, or other family members take on some of the load.

4. Practice Saying No Kindly:A polite but firm “I’m so honored you thought of me, but I can’t commit to that this year” goes a long way.

5. Remind Yourself That No is a Complete Sentence:You don’t have to justify or explain your no.

Embracing the Joy

By saying no, you give yourself the gift of time and energy to focus on what truly matters. When you’re not stretched thin, you’ll find it’s easier to embrace the joy and connection the holidays are meant to bring.

Because the best holiday memories aren’t made from the number of events you attend or the gifts you give—they’re made in the quiet, meaningful moments that fill your heart with joy.

So this holiday season, let your “no” make space for your “yes.”

What Will You Say Yes To?

Take a moment to think about what lights you up during the holidays. Is it a quiet night by the fire? Singing carols with your kids? Volunteering for a cause you love? Whatever it is, let that be your guide.

This year, give yourself the gift of a holiday that truly feels like yours.

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About the Author

Phallyn is a corporate veteran turned workplace wellness expert with over a decade of experience in high-pressure environments. Certified in Feng Shui and hypnotherapy, she transformed her own burnout into a career helping businesses build healthier, more effective teams—without outdated corporate fluff. Through humor, honesty, and real-world strategies, she’s here to make work work better.

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